


The Time He Got Asked Out With A Dildo

by Artemis_Reiko



Series: The Dildo Fics [1]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Awkward situations, Erza has no shame, Flirting, Gray has no shame, Innocent Virgin Natsu In A Sex Shop, Jellal knows what everyone is thinking, M/M, Many Many Times, Natsu's Blush Gives Me Life, Pierced Gray, Seven Visits, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2017-11-27
Packaged: 2019-02-07 16:39:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12845229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artemis_Reiko/pseuds/Artemis_Reiko
Summary: Natsu makes a series of visits to a sex shop until he finally manages to bravely ask the cashier, Gray, to go on a date with him... in the world's most embarrassing way. Cute fic!





	1. Visit Number One: Coming Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natsu tells Erza he's gay and she sends him to... a sex shop.

The first time he showed up, he had come on a whim. He had just come out to Erza and, instead of having a long conversation about support and what dating would be like, she took one look at him, grinned lecherously and told him she knew exactly the person he should talk to. She had written down an address, and Natsu had gone, not having the slightest clue what he was getting into.

 

The place her directions led to had been a shop on the edge of a shopping center that people averted their eyes from or came out of with plain black plastic bags. 'Ask for Gray,' she'd said. At first, he hesitated going in because he was scared that Erza had sent him to ask for a hooker, but people didn't come out of a whorehouse with plastic bags. At least he hoped not. He'd never been to one. He was eighteen and still a virgin because he'd been too nervous to actually tell anyone he was gay.  _ And shy and socially awkward and how is it that you have so many friends when you're constantly offending them on accident? _

 

He'd only told Erza because he overheard Mirajane talking to Lucy about how she was trying to be happy for Erza and Jellal and the thing her and Erza had had just been a fling. A summer romance that Erza had moved on from even if Mira didn't. Realizing Erza was bisexual meant he had someone to talk to. Not that Mira wasn't a good friend, she just liked to gossip a little too much for his liking and she might burst out squealing if he said anything, a sight that he'd never see with Erza. But then she sent him to some random location telling him to ask for 'Gray.'  _ You don't even know this so-called 'Gray' and you're going to look like a fool if you walk in… whatever this place is and he's not even there. It could be Erza playing a prank on you… even if that would be a weird thing for Erza to do. People change. You can never be sure. _

 

He'd taken one step into the store,  _ the sex shop, _ and prepared himself to turn right back around when a buff man with far too many piercings in his nose walked in and Natsu had decided to linger around the shelves for a minute or two until the doorway was clear of people who gave off homicidal vibes. One tall lean blonde who was louder than life, a man with red eyes and dark hair brushed over half his face, a tall blonde man with a lightning shaped scar over one eye, one green-haired suited man, a man with the majority of his tongue hanging out, a woman with a deep glare and very revealing clothes, a half-naked woman lugging around a small barrel of beer, and twenty minutes later, he was still stuck in an aisle in front of what was labelled 'anal lubricants and toys,' blood rushing to his face.

 

"Can I help you?"

 

Natsu jumped a bit and turned around. The sight in front of him was the most drool worthy sight he'd ever seen. The guy in front of him was wearing a skin tight sleeveless mesh top, he had two piercings through his left eyebrow, ripped skinny jeans and black leather, lace up combat boots, the exact same shade as his hair and just a tad darker than the deep blue of his eyes. He was drop dead gorgeous and Natsu's jaw dropped open slightly. The man was looking at him expectantly and then confusedly and Natsu realized  _ oh shit, he said something, what did he say, what am I supposed to say- _

 

"What?" he asked unintelligently.  _ So fucking eloquent you are. He probably thinks you sound like an idiot. _

 

The man searched his face for a moment and then asked again, "Can I help you?" His tone was slower, and Natsu felt his worry was confirmed.  _ Yeah, he definitely thinks you're stupid. Way to make a great first impression. _

 

"No!" Natsu snapped defensively. The guy's face went taut, eyes shut, inhaling deeply before he let out a slow breath and walked away.  _ And now you've scared him away. Of course you did. Why can't you be smooth like the people on tumblr? They're flirting and getting paired up together and you're just scaring off anyone you think is cute. But he asked… if he could help me so he… works here? _

 

Natsu walked down the short aisle and surely enough, there the man was walking behind the counter and arguing with… Jellal? Natsu did a double take and  _ yep. That's Jellal. Erza's boyfriend. He works at a sex shop. Oh my gosh the mental images of them, ew no, Erza, why? He would be scarred for life. _

 

"Already?" Jellal asked. The gorgeous man rolled his eyes.

 

"I tried to help customers. They didn't want my help," he grumbled, standing at the second register. Natsu felt so embarrassed.  _ The guy was trying to help you and you were so rude because you can't have a normal freaking conversation with a guy just because he's hot. What is wrong with you? _ Jellal heaved a tired sigh.

 

"Gray-"  _ Gray? His name is Gray. Erza told me to ask for Gray and holy shit, is he gay? Is that a tongue piercing? It is. It's a tongue piercing. Erza is trying to give me a heart attack. _

 

"No," Gray stated, loudly. Jellal tried again, actually turning his entire body toward Gray which was a rare enough sight. Jellal didn't usually think people warranted that much effort for a brief conversation.

 

"Listen-"

 

"I don't want to," Gray interrupted him again. The blue-haired man turned back to the counter, causing Gray to narrow his eyes at him suspiciously.

 

"Going up to the one guy you find attractive isn't customer service," Jellal finally muttered irritably. 

  
Natsu turned red and walked right back down the aisle and toward the exit, missing the glare that  _ Gray _ sent Jellal's way and the tinge of pink dusting across his cheekbones.


	2. Visit Number Two: The Vibrator

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natsu goes back to the shop for a joke gift to give to Loke. He might regret the idea afterward.

The second time Natsu showed up it was because Loke's birthday was coming up and he figured that since he was going to open the presents in front of everyone, he might as well get something devious that they could all laugh about. Ever since Loke and Lucy started dating, Natsu has decided to get back at them for teasing him about the blushing mess he's become since everyone found out he was gay. Erza just  _ had _ to ask him if he'd seen Gray again in a teasing voice because Erza is an evil,  _ evil _ woman. Nonetheless, Natsu was back at the sex shop.  _ If you chose this particular store because of the presence of a particular dark-eyed and pierced employee, no one has to know. _

 

He walked in and his heart stuttered briefly when he looked up at the register and saw Gray looking straight at him. He could feel a blush rising and he hurriedly looked away because  _ you're not mentally capable of handling a stare like that so early in the morning. Who the fuck goes to a sex shop in the morning? You have issues. _

 

Natsu tripped over his own feet in his haste to go toward an aisle to hide in and then he was running toward said aisle so that he wouldn't fall flat on his face right in front of the entrance where Gray could see him because  _ it's better for him to think you're running in the store like a moron than to watch you fall on your face, get a freaking grip! He is  _ just  _ a guy. _

 

His run was actually faster than he expected and he overbalanced and crashed into the aisle and there was a loud sound and  _ shit, you cannot be serious, you knocked over everything on the top shelf, you fail at life. The ultimate failure- _

 

There was a heavy sigh from the back of the counter and a few seconds passed and then Gray,  _ in all of his sexy glory, _ was stepping into the aisle with a grimace and bending over to pick up the items and the sight of Gray in practically painted on leather pants bending over to pick up a whip was not something Natsu's heart was prepared to handle and a high pitched squeak emanated from his throat, causing Gray to turn back to look at him and Natsu tore his eyes away  _ immediately because you're ogling him shamelessly and you look like an absolute creep. _

 

He was so occupied in his own thoughts that the brief look of realization that passed through Gray's eyes and the smirk that crept onto his face as a result, completely escaped his notice. Natsu rushed to pick up the items, trying not to look at them as he picked them up because he just knew his face would burn bright red if he looked at anything he was touching and  _ he's going to assume you're blind. First you run into the shelf and now you're searching the floor with your hands like a lunatic. Why do you do this? Just why? _

 

When Natsu saw the floor was clean and that Gray was organizing the shelf far too closely to him, he rushed out of that particular aisle because he just needed a moment to breathe, not because he was nervous. He tried to make himself go to the aisle with the… very extensive… selection of dildos, but he physically could not move his feet in that direction. Then the thought of Loke actually  _ using _ the toy with Lucy made him walk to the opposite end of the store, avoiding that half of the store entirely over the single aisle. He looked around himself and walked nervously away from the cock cages at his left because  _ nope. No. Definitely not. _

 

He saw a small oval-like thing in a clear box. ' _ Vibrating egg.'  _ He closed his eyes, breathed in while counting to ten, and reached out to snatch the item off of the shelf. It was as good an option as anything else and hopefully embarrassing enough because Natsu didn't think he was actually capable of wandering around the store for another minute and looking at the  _ various options _ because the sight of gay porn magazine covers alone was enough to make him blush fiercely.

 

He was hoping he could just go pay for the object at Jellal's register and save himself a vast amount of humiliation, but Jellal was explaining to the lean blonde guy from the other day in a very clear and slow voice that 'No, we do not have thinner buttplugs,' 'No, lubricant does not take all of the pain away from anal sex, there will probably still be some stinging,' and finally, 'If you want to bottom for your partner, you will just have to go through the same process that everyone else does,' when he started losing his patience and Natsu could not find the nerve to interrupt that conversation because  _ you do not want to be in the middle of a conversation about sex. Why does everyone feel the need to talk about sex? Does no one else ever feel embarrassed? The internet is there for a reason! _

 

For a brief moment, Natsu thought he had avoided any further embarrassment. Then he was standing at the counter handing a  _ remote controlled vibrating egg _ over and his face flamed ten times brighter. 

Gray was taking the item and scanning it and Natsu had the brief urge to just run out of the store because  _ please just charge me for it. Please don't comment. I can't handle it, please- _

 

"Would you like any lubricant to go with your purchase?" Gray asked, looking straight at him, calm and poised and  _ how can he ask that with a straight face? _

 

"No," Natsu mumbled quietly, tugging nervously at his scarf, glancing at Gray's cheekbone to avoid looking at his eyes because then he really would run out of the store without the thing he came for and  _ Gray will assume you're an idiot. Actually, he probably already did. You suck. So bad. _

 

"Would you be interested in buying a second vibrator at a discounted price?" the pierced man asked him, and he was still staring directly at Natsu, leaning the smallest bit forward on the counter, and Natsu could see down his dress shirt, a toned chest, a tattoo, and  _ you're not breathing. Breathe. Fucking breathe and answer him. _

 

Natsu took in a breath and stuttered out, "N-no, I don't-"

 

"Would you like to view the anal beads and the cock ring that originally came in a set with this product?" Gray was smirking, his lips twitching up slightly, but Natsu didn't notice because he was pretty sure all of the blood in his body was in his face and he was going to die slowly from the lack of circulation. He couldn't find the words to reply. He just couldn't.

 

In a fit of panic, he buried his face in his hands, feeling the need to hide and then he heard low chuckling. Natsu removed his hands from his face and saw that Gray was struggling not to laugh and warmth bloomed in his chest for causing it and  _ you are so screwed. He's laughing  _ at  _ you and you're getting butterflies. Screwed. _

 

Gray rung up his purchase, gave him his change and receipt, and just as Natsu was exiting the store, he called out, "And have a  _ very  _ nice time enjoying our products!"

 

Natsu's fading blush returned with a vengeance and he ended up running around the corner and just leaning against the wall of a convenience store in an attempt to calm his pounding heart.

 


	3. Visit Number Three: The Bowling Pin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natsu goes back to explain himself and comes out more flustered than when he came in.

The third visit happened on the same day as the second. Natsu had been to the shop in the morning and, after a fair amount of what he considered humiliation, he was completely prepared to just hole himself up in his room and binge watch a new anime. He was.  _ You should have. Instead you're here to embarrass yourself again. _

 

Instead he was right outside the shop, clenching his fists, steeling himself to move his feet and just go inside already and make it clear that the vibrator was a present and that he would not be… having a nice time with any product whatsoever. He didn't know why getting that point across clearly was so important. Maybe he just didn't want Gray to think he was a pervert.  _ Except he works in a sex shop and you're being ridiculous and just turn around and go home. Why are you here? _

 

But he wasn't turning around. He was biting his lip and making his way inside. He walked straight down the wide center aisle toward Gray with shut eyes and  _ just hope you don't knock over another shelf, god you look stupid for sure. _

 

He opened his eyes when he reached the center of the aisle to make sure Gray was actually there because if he started shouting that he wasn't going to use a sex toy while he was in the middle of a sex shop the disbelieving snort he would get from Jellal would burn his face off.

 

Gray was there. He looked decidedly pissed off and there was a guy in front of the counter, all spiked reddish brown hair and slanted light brown eyes that Natsu could see in the mirror behind Gray that made him look naturally dangerous like poison, who was asking Gray out very loudly. Jellal didn't seem to be around and neither was anyone else. Apparently Natsu had stalled for far too long, debating with himself whether or not this was a good idea and whether or not he would do it anyway when he decided that it definitely  _ wasn't _ . It was most likely near closing time.  _ You waited too long and now it's going to look creepy that you're here. _

 

Natsu watched the interaction unfold and saw Gray's expression tightening in frustration with every second that the guy wouldn't leave.

 

In retrospect, there were many normal things Natsu could have done. He could have gone up to the guy and told him 'no means no,' or any other heroic cliche. He could have pretended to be a new hire and kicked the guy out making himself look a little better in Gray's eyes. What Natsu did was not normal because  _ you can never do anything right, can you? _

 

Natsu grabbed the closest thing on the shelf beside him, which looked like a bowling pin and he didn't stop to wonder what the hell a bowling pin would be doing in a sex shop, and threw it at the back of the guy's head.

 

All three of them froze. The man's shoulders were tense and slowly he was turning around and  _ you are so fucked. You're going to die because you never think before you act. _

 

The man's fists clenched and he took one step forward before Gray seemed to snap out of an onslaught of shock and said loudly, "No violence or I  _ will _ ban you."

 

The guy's head snapped back around to level Gray with an angry glare and Natsu supposed he must have been a regular customer because he stormed out and shoved against Natsu's shoulder on his way out. Natsu breathed a small sigh of relief.  _ You're alive, you poked the dragon and you are alive, you are amazing- _

 

"You break it you buy it."  _ What? _

 

"Huh?" Natsu asked.  _ My god, you are just trying to look like the world's biggest idiot, aren't you? _

 

Gray was pointing down at something on the floor and Natsu's gaze fell onto the supposed bowling pin on the floor when he realized there was a lid on the bottom that had snapped off and the bowling pin was a… a…. His face flamed brightly at the sight of the  _ artificial vagina  _ that was just laying there and he pointedly shut his eyes because that was not attractive and  _ people who put their thing in there are insane. _

 

He grimaced, walked over to it, picked it up by the end that was solid and not mushy and gross-looking, and placed it on the counter. He sighed irritably and Gray's small chuckle breathed life back into his chest and  _ fuck, you're being so weird and cheesy, just stop it. _

 

Gray was biting his lip as he tried not to laugh. This man was pink and adorable and obviously didn't come here to buy artificial genitals and he figured he should make conversation with the guy who threw a sex toy at the back of someone's head for him.

 

"So what brought you back? Twice in a day. Are you going to be a regular?" Gray asked, smirk in place. Locked and loaded and  _ fucking sexy. _ Then the words registered in Natsu's head.

 

"What? No!" He shouted, face on fire. Nothing he'd bought was even for himself!

 

Gray pouted. Honest to god pouted and  _ you need to leave before you get in any deeper. Leave now. Just do it. _

 

Then the pout became a small lecherous grin and he said, "No? Did our vibrator selection not satisfy your needs?"

 

Natsu choked on air and Gray leaned forward saying, "Because here, we're all about customer satisfaction."

 

Natsu opened his mouth to form some kind of reply and what came out was a strangled high-pitched sound that started at the back of his throat. He cleared his throat frustratedly and ignored the insinuation because Gray was teasing him and Natsu wasn't experienced in that game and he  _ would lose. _ Epically. He chose to address that first question saying, "Nothing brought me back, it was… stupid."

 

Before Gray could reply Natsu muttered out, "I'm never going to use this thing anyway," under his breath, thinking Gray wouldn't here him. He vastly underestimated the level of silence there was in an empty store near closing time. Gray heard it and he smirked deviously.

 

"But you  _ are  _ going to use the vibrator?" he asked, tone innocent with the slightest hint of amusement that he tried to mask.

 

The pink in Natsu's face deepened and he hurried to shout, "No! That was a present! A present!"

 

Gray leaned back, crossing his arms, making a small 'hmm' noise before saying, "Right. Sure."

 

Natsu persisted. "It was!"

 

"I believe you," Gray said, in a tone that implied he most certainly did not believe him.

 

Natsu shot his hand out to pick up the nondescript black plastic bag that concealed the purchase he  _ would never use _ and rushed to the exit before the blush on his face spread anywhere else, trying not to think about how he felt more flustered than when he'd come in.


	4. Visit Number Four: The Handcuffs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erza asks Natsu to do her a favor and Natsu wishes Erza wasn't so scary.

"Erza, no."  _ Don't you dare listen to her, she can do it herself. _

 

A silence and then they both spoke at once.

 

"Natsu-"

 

"Erza, you don't understand-"

 

"No," she interrupted, voice deepening frighteningly, "You don't understand. It is his birthday and he's coming back into town tonight and if I don't get to have sex the way I want it because you can't do me an incredibly simple favor, I will  _ skin _ you." Natsu's cheeks tinged pink at the mention of sex because  _ she has no shame. No shame whatsoever. _ He was also very nervous about her threat because, as reliable and loyal as the redhead could be, he had seen her repeatedly smash a man's hand against a wall when he'd knocked over her piece of strawberry cake in a diner and he was sure that he would never be prepared for the full wrath of Erza Scarlet if his refusal caused her to miss out on something with Jellal, who Natsu was sure Erza loved marginally more than her precious dessert.

He put his hand over his eyes, sighing deeply in irritation.  _ Say no. It's easy, just N-O. Not difficult at all, Say it! Say- _

 

"Fine," he gritted out.  _ You have no spine. No balls. If you ever had balls, they shriveled up and died with that word, you coward. _

 

When she'd first told him just what kind of favor she needed, he had frozen in place with the phone by his ear and thought he would rather swallow down a bottle of hot sauce. He wouldn't do it. He was scared of Erza, but not that scared.

 

It turned out Erza was a scarier woman than he'd originally thought.

 

Natsu hadn't even known Jellal was out of town. He knew the guy was a member of 'Crime Sorciére' but Natsu didn't think studying the similarities in violent crimes was all that important for Jellal considering he worked in a sex shop. He cursed the blue-haired man as he made his way back to  _ the stupid shop. _

 

And so the fourth visit began.

 

Natsu hesitated at the door, his hand against the handle, before he pushed it open.  _ Please do not make a fool of yourself this time around. Just talk like a normal person. Normal people don't look like tomatoes when someone speaks to them, they look normal. _

 

Natsu pulled up his scarf to cover the bottom of his face to feel a little less exposed. He made his way to the side of the store that did not contain any dildos and hoped the handcuffs would appear before he could have a heart attack in the middle of one of the aisles at the sight of a so-called bowling pin.  _ You now have one of those at home. Go on and think about that while you walk up and down the aisles like a pervert. _

 

When Natsu turned into the third aisle from the left to see the selection of nipple clamps and edible flavored underwear, he clamped his eyes shut and turned right back around, heading toward the counter and preparing himself for abject humiliation.

 

He looked up at Gray, bit his lip, and then, fiddling with the hem of his shirt, asked, "W-where are the…" he trailed off mumbling the last word of that sentence.

 

Gray wanted to kiss him. The guy was freaking adorable and that blush didn't match the number of visits he'd made to the store in less than a week. Still, he held himself back and said, "I didn't catch that last word, what were you looking for?"

 

Natsu cleared his throat and avoided looking in Gray's general direction, then quickly refocused on him when the sights in the store were too explicit for him to handle any better. "The handcuffs," he stated, one hand now fisted in his shirt instead of simply fiddling with it.

 

Gray smiled and Natsu buried his face in his scarf.  _ Remember that he is just a guy. _

 

Gray stepped out from behind the counter and motioned for Natsu to follow him. Natsu did, focusing on the back of Gray's head because looking at anything else, including the rest of Gray, would make him as red as Erza's hair because Gray was wearing drop-crotch joggers that rested low on his hips and a sleeveless black turtleneck top that showed off his shoulders and his biceps and that cut off right under his chest showing off his abs and, since Natsu was currently walking behind him, showcased back dimples right over the lining of his pants and  _ do not look oh my god what happened to looking at the back of his head, you're drooling, you're a perverted man that is going to get punched in the face if he turns around. _

 

Gray stopped and Natsu averted his eyes as the man turned around and said, "We have basic wrist cuffs, love cuffs, intermediate cuffs, leather cuffs, and grip cuffs in black, white, red and silver with varying levels of resistance. What kind were you looking for?"

 

Natsu stared wide-eyed at the selection and felt himself sweating as he tugged at his scarf. The sheer number of handcuffs hanging in neat rows from the aisle made him feel dizzy. _What the hell are you going to do now? Do not pass out. You cannot do that in front of people over freaking handcuffs, calm yourself!_ _Just… think. What would Erza want? Ew, gross. Don't think too deeply. She's strong. Okay. Okay, good. You can do this._

 

"Strong," Natsu blurted out, legs trembling as he tried to remain standing. Gray simply nodded and picked two pairs of handcuffs, holding them out for Natsu's inspection, causing Natsu to step back apprehensively and  _ he's not going to attack you with a pair of handcuffs, what the fuck are you backing up for? _

 

"For experienced users we carry leather cuffs and stainless steel, but the metal could cause pain or some bleeding in the wrist area. There are some people who are into that. Which would you prefer?"

 

Gray was looking at him expectantly and Natsu stopped to think that Erza would murder him if she got too injured for her…  _ activities _ … with Jellal and he absolutely refused to let his mind go anywhere near the possibility that either of them would be 'into that' because he just knew wouldn't be able to stop himself from fainting.

 

"L-leather," he stuttered out, not once glancing at the cuffs that Gray was holding. Gray placed one pair of cuffs back where it belonged and held up the other in front of Natsu.

 

"And would you like to buy it in this color?" Natsu shut his eyes.

 

His voice was decidedly high-pitched when he let out, "The color's fine!"  _ You don't even know what the color is. _

 

Gray poked his cheek and Natsu let out a very unmanly squeak as his eyes shot open and he stared at Gray, unable to form words and Gray just smiled. "Follow me."

 

He walked right back to the counter and it took Natsu a moment before he could make his legs move, his heart hammering a Phil Collins drum solo against his ribs. When Natsu gets to the counter, Gray is already ringing him up and Natsu shoved his hands in his pockets because  _ you don't know what to do with them. What do people do with their hands? _

 

"So," Gray said as he handed the bag over to Natsu, "Are those for you and your partner?" There was an undertone of interest and jealousy that Natsu didn't hear because he was determined to explain as clearly as possible that the things in the bag were  _ not for himself. _

 

Natsu's expression was one of clear irritation as he spoke. "No! This isn't for  _ me.  _ It's all Erza's fault because she wants to ' _ do something special'  _ for  _ Jellal  _ and she's making him food even though she hates to cook anything that isn't sweet and he doesn't eat a lot of sweets, so she's  _ actually cooking a meal  _ and said she's too  _ busy _ to buy the handcuffs herself and she called me asking me to get them for her and I tried to say no!  _ I did!  _ But then she said she would  _ skin _ me and Erza is  _ scary,"  _ he shuddered, "You don't understand," he continued, hands moving around in wide motions and not realizing how quietly Gray was as he stared at him ranting, "Erza made a buff man  _ cry  _ when he accidentally knocked over her  _ slice of strawberry cake! _ He was  _ sobbing  _ and he ran out of the place and she loves Jellal  _ more than cake," _ he emphasized, getting ready to explain exactly how he knew this to be a fact when he looked at Gray's expression and bit his tongue to shut himself up.  _ You do not know when to shut up, do you? He's just staring at you because you're going off about Erza like a crazy person to him and you don't even know him! Do you realize how weird he must be feeling because he can't tell off a customer? Congratulations. You made him uncomfortable. Just go crawl into a hole and hide. _

 

Natsu turned bright red as his blush climbed up all the way to his ears and he yelled out, "Anyway, I have to go,  _ bye!" _ running out of the store, black bag gripped in a sweaty palm.  _ I hate you, Erza. _

 

Gray was stunned and a little pleased, more than a little, that the guy didn't seem to have a partner in mind for his purchases. He was the smallest bit disappointed that he never tried to ask Gray out. He couldn't hit on a customer because then the customer might not return and that just wasn't good for business, but that didn't mean he couldn't admire something… appetizing when he saw it. He just sighed, wishing he didn't have to admire from a distance. He'd rather be up close and personal.


	5. Visit Number Five: Moral Support

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natsu regrets giving Loke a present because now Lucy is dragging him to the sex shop for 'moral support.'

The fifth time around, Natsu had just about thirty seconds to prepare himself because he was completely blindsided.

 

"Lucy…? Where are we going?" he asked, unease seeping into his words because the shopping center was one that was too familiar and he didn't think there were too many places in it that Lucy would drag him along to for 'moral support.' She had woken him up by banging on his apartment door and when he'd said he wasn't going anywhere so early, she'd proceeded to rain down a series of slaps to the walls by his apartment and he'd pulled her away from the poor chipped paint so that the neighbors wouldn't report him to the landlord and gotten dressed, thinking that whatever she had in mind couldn't be too bad because it was Lucy. Lucy was innocent.  _ That was obviously a mistake. You should have asked where exactly she needed to go earlier. _

 

Lucy turned a light shade of pink and started tugging Natsu along by the hand when he stopped walking, something he struggled against determinedly.

 

"You got Loke the… the thing," she whispered, glancing around at the people walking by to make sure they couldn't hear the words she was saying. Natsu's eyes widened and now he knew for sure where she wanted to go and doubled his struggles to get away, something that made Lucy scowl and dig the heels of her boots into the pavement, keeping Natsu still with a death grip.  _ She is tiny and you can get away from her if you just try hard enough. _

 

"Natsu! I've never been in one of these before and I asked Erza and she said you came-"

 

At that, Natsu glared at her and interrupted by asking, "Then why didn't you as  _ Erza _ to come with you for your ' _ moral support?'" _

 

She sent him a matching glare and promptly informed him, " _ Jellal  _ just got back yesterday. Are you an  _ idiot?  _ I don't want to get in between Erza and her time with  _ Jellal!  _ Don't you remember what she did at the diner? Natsu, she loves Jellal  _ more than cake!"  _ Lucy looked just a little bit terrified and Natsu knew exactly how that felt in regards to Erza and Jellal, but he couldn't feel too much sympathy because he  _ did  _ know that Jellal just got back yesterday because thanks to  _ that  _ little tidbit of information, Natsu had just been in the sex shop the previous day and he would not go into the place for the  _ fifth time in the span of seven days. No. Just no. _ He wrestled himself out of her grip and turned to run-

 

-and immediately crashed into someone.

 

"Watch where you're going!"

 

A very familiar someone with a scowl and a busted cup of coffee. The yelling put Natsu's nerves on edge and he found himself yelling in return before he could think better of it.

 

"When you see someone coming, you should move!"  _ You could have apologized. Instead you've pissed him off. Brilliant idea. _

 

Gray's tensed jaw and darkened eyes could strangle lesser men. He pushed his way past Natsu and opened up the shop and then Natsu found himself being tugged along by a nervous Lucy that berated him for his immature behavior but  _ she's not the one who's been here five times is she? Who is she to judge? Listen to yourself! Who are  _ you  _ to judge when you just admitted the number of times you've been here? _

 

Lucy was asking for his opinion on which handcuffs were better and Natsu had the sense of Déja vu. He closed his eyes and explained that the leather and steel ones were the strongest and that she should get the leather ones because they were less likely to cause injury and, "Can you please, please not ask me anything else?" He looked at her with his best pleading look.  _ You're going to have nightmares because of her and Erza. The mental images are going to land you in a hospital. _

 

She rolled her eyes at him and huffed, turning her attention back to the selection of handcuffs. She picked a few and went to ask Gray which he would recommend and Gray answered her series of questions with a series of one word answers as he sent scathing glares at Natsu. That had Natsu scowling because while he  _ had  _ bumped into the guy, and caused his coffee to explode,  _ and _ failed to apologize, none of those things were…  _ okay, well it sounds pretty bad now that you're putting it all together in a list like that. _ Natsu's cheeks turned pink and he pointedly stared at the boxes of condoms to avoid Gray's gaze.

 

But  _ still.  _ Just because he'd upset him didn't mean Gray had to be rude to  _ Lucy.  _ She hadn't done anything to him. Lucy was looking between Natsu and Gray curiously, but Natsu steeled himself despite his now red face and started grabbing random things and moving them from their proper places in their respective aisles.

 

Lucy saw the glares Gray was giving Natsu and she was the tiniest bit afraid that they would get kicked out of the shop, but she put her hand over her mouth to stifle her giggles because Gray growled out an ' _ excuse me for a moment,'  _ and proceeded to follow Natsu around the store moving things back to their proper place and the whole scenario was just too funny for her to care anymore.

When Gray balled up his fists and gritted his teeth, Lucy finally went after Natsu and pulled at his wrist. "Natsu! Can you stop running around and disturbing the products so that I can  _ pay  _ for the handcuffs?"

 

Natsu hesitated, glanced back at Gray and saw his absolutely murderous expression, and turned to Lucy, nodding.

 

Gray returned to his place behind the counter and rung them up silently, angrily shoving the red leather wrist cuffs in the discreet bag and glaring at the cash register as he handed Lucy her change. Natsu tried to make eye contact and silently apologize because he knew he wouldn't be able to say it out loud, but Gray diligently avoided looking at him entirely. Natsu sighed.  _ You've pissed him off so much he can't even look at you. Why can't you ask him out like a normal person instead of embarrassing yourself every time you walk into his store? _

 

Lucy accepted the bag, smiled, and pulled Natsu toward the door, leaving Gray behind even as his glare grew in intensity.

 

Just as they reached the door and Lucy pushed it open, Gray called out, "Enjoy our products with your  _ girlfriend,"  _ loudly and sarcastically and Natsu turned to look at him disbelievingly because  _ girlfriend?  _ Natsu looked at Lucy then back at Gray as he froze in the doorway.  _ He thinks she's your girlfriend? Hell no!  _ Natsu yanked his wrist away from Lucy's grip with lightning fast speed and jumped back a step, one foot out of the door.

 

"What? No!  _ I'm gay!"  _ he stressed, the last two words coming out in a near screech that had everyone in the parking lot turning to stare at him.  _ You just said that out loud. Why? You didn't owe him an explanation. You owe him nothing! _

 

Gray stared at him for a moment, jaw slightly dropped and then he burst into a fit of laughter and Natsu turned around irritably, ready to storm away, when he saw just how many people were staring at him. His face turned crimson and he broke into a run, Lucy laughing as she ran after him, Gray still chuckling to himself in the store.


	6. Visit Number Six: Blue Jeans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gray tries to get Natsu to ask him out and his plan backfires.

The sixth visit was not even supposed to happen, but at that point Natsu had just resigned himself to his fate of constant humiliation.

 

He'd gone to Erza's place because they always met on Sundays to practice fencing. They both loved sword fighting and Erza had apparently just met the green-haired guy from the sex shop who was also into the sport. She'd told Natsu to come a few hours earlier so that they could go over their footwork again so that she could invite 'Freed' the next time around. Just as they'd finished, Erza asked if Natsu wanted to go get takeout and he'd agreed, despite the completely miserable time he had in the car. They ate and then she ordered two extra sets of food and drinks. It was at that point that Natsu got a little suspicious because Erza only ordered second servings if they included strawberry cake and they were in a burger joint that had cake precisely nowhere on their menu.  _ She's up to something. _

 

She'd rushed into the car and just as Natsu closed the door and asked why she got more food, Erza pulled the car out of the parking space, causing him to steel his stomach against the onslaught of nausea, and cheerfully informed him that they were going to visit Gray and Jellal at work and bring them lunch. Natsu was too preoccupied trying to keep the contents of his own lunch inside his stomach to form any of the protests on the tip of his tongue and soon enough they were parked right in front of the sex shop. He'd been there just two days ago and he just sighed because Erza shoved the sodas into his hands and she would murder him if they didn't reach her precious Jellal and her friend Gray.  _ You've been here enough times already, there's no point in fighting it anymore. Just bear the shame like a man. Because that's what you are. A man! Don't let those pink-hating assholes from the supermarket tell you otherwise. Elfman said you're manly. Elfman is the manliest guy there is, he knows his shit. _

 

Natsu was still dizzy from the car ride, but he dutifully followed Erza to the counter and placed the drinks between the two registers. Erza immediately walked right behind the counter, pulled a chair up beside Jellal and put her legs over his lap, talking to him about work and fencing and Natsu was always taken aback at how bold Erza could be considering that just six months earlier she was red-faced at the mere mention of Jellal. Still, as Jellal pulled out his meal, Erza stopped brushing her hand through his hair for a moment and ordered Natsu,  _ yes ordered him, _ as she pointed toward the far aisle on the right, to take the takeout bag and the other soda to Gray.

 

Natsu sighed heavily and picked up the food and the soda, heading in the direction she'd pointed to.  _ At least maybe he'll be a little more receptive to you if you're the one who gives him food. You might even be able to ask him out. _

 

That did not happen. At all. Because as soon as Natsu got to the last aisle on the right, he remembered just what aisle it was and blushed heavily, yelping at the sight of Gray in a tight white t-shirt with rolled up sleeves that exposed his arms in all of their muscular glory, black fingerless leather gloves, mid-calf leather Harley-Davidson motorcycle boots, the tightest faded blue jeans Natsu had ever seen, and a thin black choker… organizing the selection of dildos. Every single one of those things alone would have made Natsu's heart race, but the combination of everything in one was too much stimulation and he nearly dropped the food when Gray turned to look at him. Gray placed the last dildo on the shelf.

 

He removed his headphones and asked, politely, "Umm, did you say something?"

 

He looked the slightest bit nervous but Natsu didn't notice because  _ you're here to hand him food not stare at him in awkward silence. He's gorgeous, if he wanted to be a model, he would be. He didn't decide to work in a sex shop so that people could stare at him in uncomfortable silence. _

 

He held out the food and the soda.

 

"For you," he stated, hurriedly and in a higher pitch than strictly necessary. Gray blinked a couple of times and walked forward, glancing over at Jellal's register and, at the sight of Erza, he completely understood. Erza had brought them food before. Usually with the lack of a pink-haired potential date, but Gray wasn't complaining. He nodded and smiled at Natsu, taking the food from his hands.

 

"Thank you," he said. Natsu was pink and silent and he just nodded once and didn't appear to be breathing. Gray took one more look at Erza and Jellal who were now whispering to each other and sending them meaningful glances that Gray didn't like one bit and he turned to Natsu, impulsively saying, "We have a back room. Do you want to go in there with me while Erza finishes talking to Jellal?"

 

Because whenever Erza visited she took her time and then Natsu would just be an awkward third wheel and Gray had been that awkward third wheel several times and he wouldn't wish that on anyone. Not with Erza and Jellal. They might be good about hiding their marks and passing them off as injuries from other activities like sports, but Jellal like to whisper things to Erza that made her a red and stuttering mess when he thought Gray couldn't hear and Gray could too hear and he didn't like hearing it. Especially because ever since Natsu first visited, anytime that Gray seemed frustrated with anything Jellal took great pleasure in calling Erza and putting her on speaker to tease Gray mercilessly over the tan pink-haired blushing regular.

 

Natsu was speechless and wide-eyed for a moment because  _ holy shit he wants to spend time with you. You are fire, hot and eye-catching… and a potential disaster but that is besides the point right now. Focus! _

 

He nodded once, cheeks still tinged pink.

 

Gray motioned for Natsu to follow him, pointedly ignored Erza's lecherous grin, and made his way to the back room, a blushing Natsu behind him.

 

The lights flickered on at the motion in the room and Gray sat at the square wooden table, pushing out the chair across from him with his foot so Natsu could sit.

 

Natsu sat, fidgeting nervously and Gray let out a small laugh before he unplugged his headphones from his phone and raised the volume to music. That was preferable to silence and would hopefully make Natsu relax. Gray asked about how long Natsu knew Erza and Jellal and who the girl he came in with the other day was and Natsu seemed to lose the tense strain in his shoulders a little more with every question, but he still wasn't asking Gray out and that was immensely frustrating because it was against policy to ask out consumers and he knew that Natsu at least found him attractive. The lingering glances did not escape him. So as soon as he finished his food, he put on a different song. Requiem for the Blue Jeans. Slow and with a nice beat. He  _ would  _ get the blushing man to ask him out… even if it took something a little obvious.

 

When the lyrics started playing out, Gray moved his hips forward slightly, rotating with his abdomen, legs opening slightly.

 

Natsu froze in his seat, all tension returning at full force, cheeks red, eyes wide.  _ He's grinding in his seat to the song. He is giving the fucking chair a lap dance. Just when you were working up the courage to ask for his number. Courage, gone. _

 

Gray tilted his head back against the back of the chair, kept rolling his hips forward and back to the beat, grabbed his soda, closed his eyes and took a sip, slid his eyes open halfway and stared directly into wide green eyes as he licked his lips, tongue piercing dragging slightly over his lip before disappearing back into his mouth.

 

Natsu was now the brightest shade of red ever created and unbearably hard in his seat.  _ You need to leave. Holy shit. Just look away, just turn aside. _ His eyes were locked on Gray's body as he stuttered out, "I-I'm gonna find Erza, and- and, see you!" running out of the door nearly tripping over the leg of the chair and Gray sagged in disappointment, confusion briefly passing over his features.  _ Did I go too far? What am I doing wrong? _

 

He threw the trash away and headed out to the counter, seeing the last glimpse of a red Natsu dragging an irritated Erza outside.

 

He sighed.

 

Jellal didn't look at him as he asked, "So what did you do to scare him off?"

 

Gray scowled at him.

 


	7. Visit Number Seven: The Pink Dildo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaaand the finale!

The seventh time that Natsu found himself standing outside the sex shop, it was because of Lucy. It had been a week since he'd set foot in the shop. He'd been prepared to just never step foot in the place again, but Lucy tried to get him to go with her again, and once she'd seen the color drain out of his face, she'd been like a dog with a bone. There was no way she was letting it go. He'd explained what happened last time and how he'd just humiliated himself and Lucy just gave out a quiet 'hmmm' and called Erza. Natsu didn't get the phone out of her hands until it was too late and Jellal picked up the phone sounding winded, something Natsu had never heard in all of the three years he'd known him.

 

"Hello?"

 

Natsu nearly hung up, but Lucy snatched her phone back. "Erza!" she greeted cheerfully into the phone.

 

"No," came the breathless reply, "Erza is… busy." There was a rustling sound and then a pained yet muffled noise from Jellal on the phone. Lucy blushed crimson. Still, she did not hang up the phone.

 

"Erza said you work at the shop with Gray, right?" she asked, kicking at Natsu's stomach as he tried to reach for the phone to hang up.

 

Jellal's breathing was irregular and he spoke in clipped sentences, "Yes, why?"

 

Lucy put the phone on speaker and held it out away from Natsu as she extended her arm as far as she could, yelling, "So what does Gray think about Natsu?"

 

Natsu's struggling abruptly halted and he listened with bated breath even as his cheeks tinged bright fuscia when there was a muffled groan on the other end of the line.

 

"Asked," Jellal started, pausing to breathe in sharply, "Where he's been lately."

 

Lucy smiled triumphantly and Natsu stared at the phone with wide eyes.

 

"Does he ask about a lot of the customers?" Lucy asked.

 

Two moans that neither person on the other line bothered covering up and then, "No," right before the line went dead.

 

Both Lucy and Natsu were decidedly uncomfortable with what they'd heard, but Lucy grinned victoriously and declared that she would be taking Natsu to the sex shop and that she would wait outside and that he would not be coming outside until he had either a date or Gray's phone number. Preferably both. She also said that if he didn't get the phone number she would be marching in to ask Gray if Natsu actually asked him out because she wasn't letting him back out of this.

 

Because of the phone call, Natsu felt the tiniest bit of confidence as he entered the shop. He didn't see Gray at the counter, but he heard rummaging sounds from behind it so he assumed the man was somewhere behind it searching for something. He walked forward and tried to calm his pounding heart.  _ Gray asked about you. He noticed when you weren't there! You might have a shot after all. You can ask him out and get a date and- _

 

All thoughts of confidence and asking anyone out flew out the window when Gray popped out from behind the counter wearing no shirt and exposing two nipple piercings.

 

Natsu immediately turned right and practically  _ skated _ into the furthest stall to hide. The store was practically empty and for that Natsu thanked the gods because  _ if anyone saw that you would keel over and die of the embarrassment. He probably saw you running away from him into this aisle, you idiot! _

 

Then Natsu stopped for a moment to look at his surroundings and any crumb of composure he might have had left disintegrated into dust because the aisle he'd run into  _ was the… the…. _ The sight of shelves upon shelves of dildos froze Natsu entirely.  _ You… you walked into… into…. _

 

He couldn't even finish the thought, eyes wide and unblinking at the sheer number of artificial appendages in neat rows.

 

Gray had been looking for the cleaning products so that he could get the coffee stain out of the shirt he'd worn to work today. Some woman had been pushed forward in the line earlier in the day and the result had been a very soaked and very angry Gray in a wet button up shirt. He'd waited for the rest of the customers to pay for their items and leave before he took his shirt off because he just  _ knew _ they would find some excuse to linger if he took it off beforehand and he was  _ not in the mood.  _ Of course, Jellal had finished the cleaning products because he was a silent perfectionist and Gray was starting to think he'd have a completely shitty day at work when he stood up from behind the counter and saw a blushing ex-regular ducking into the aisle of dildos. What was more interesting, was that Natsu spent over twenty minutes in the aisle without coming out. Gray was curious. Beyond curious.

 

Meanwhile, Natsu was feeling slightly dizzy as he tried to get his legs to move but he had run straight into the middle of the aisle and dildos were…  _ everywhere. They're just everywhere. Why are there so many? Who needs this many? _

 

"Can I help you?" came a low and seductive voice from right behind his ear.

 

Natsu jumped up and one step back in alarm, grabbing the nearest object to protect himself when he noticed it was Gray, looking terribly amused as Natsu held something straight out toward him like a sword.

 

Natsu, heart in his throat, followed Gray's line of sight to his own hand and his eyes went as wide as saucers as he took in the  _ transparent pink ice jelly dildo _ that was now in his tight grip. He felt his arm trembling and heat rising to his face and he wanted to put it back but his arm wasn't cooperating with him, just shaking and effectively waiving the dildo in Gray's face.  _ Why can't you get your own body to listen to you the one time it actually matters? What are you doing? _

 

He tried to explain himself, he really did, but he couldn't get out the right string of words and what came out was, "I, you, this-, I-I was just-"

 

He was seriously just holding out the dildo for Gray to inspect and Gray was looking back and forth between the dildo and Natsu's face which  _ you're absolutely fucking sure is displaying a level of red not recorded on the color spectrum. Just say something! Anything! Any actual words will do! _

 

"For you," was what he blurted out because it was the first thing that came to mind and  _ oh my god, no. Not those words. You didn't. You did not just say that. Literally anything else would have been better. Anything at all. Fix it. Fix it now. _

 

Gray was opening his mouth to say something but Natsu let out a rushed string of words before he could. "W-will you go out with m-me?"  _ You. Fail. At. Life. You asked him out after offering him a dildo. Oh. My. God. You are a disgrace. An embarrassment to the human race. He's going to throw you out of the store. He's looking at the dildo, just put it back on the shelf and save what little dignity you have left. Would that be rude, though, to put the thing back on the shelf when Gray is looking at it? This is so awkward and how long are you supposed to hold it out for? Dammit, Gray, what is so fucking interesting about it? Just look away! I am begging you- _

 

Gray's eyes widened as the words registered in his head. He bit his lip, looked up into wide green eyes, and asked, "Like a date?"

 

Natsu nodded vehemently because  _ that wasn't a rejection, you still have a chance _ and then Gray looked down and  _ oh dear god, you're still holding the dildo. Put it down. Just put it down, for fuck's sake! _

 

"Okay."

 

Natsu's eyes shot up to look into Gray's, shocked and his arm was trembling and Gray grabbed the dildo from his hand and asked, "So is this like when you bring your date flowers?"

 

Natsu felt like he was going to spontaneously combust into flames and only managed a strangled sound low in his throat in response.

 

Gray went on to lean in closer, lower his voice, and say, "Because you'd have to pay for it before you can  _ give it to me." _

 

Natsu gulped once and stumbled back a little in the aisle, knocking over and catching a blue gel dildo and quickly shoving it back into place, eyes shut until he turned away from it and pulled his scarf over half his face. It slid right back down.

 

Gray was openly laughing as he walked back toward the front counter to his register and Natsu silently followed, resigned and blushing madly, but not upset because  _ he said okay. Holy shit. You got a date. You managed to ask someone out in the most awkward and humiliating way known to man and you succeeded. You are a legend. _

 

Once Natsu paid for it, Gray took one of the business cards from the counter and wrote his phone number on the back of it, handing it to Natsu. Natsu smiled, a small tinge of pink still on his cheeks and just as he was turning away Gray said, "Hey, Natsu?"

 

Natsu turned back to Gray. "Y-yeah?"

 

Gray gripped the pink dildo on the counter at the base, ran his fingers up the shaft, thumbed the tip, and licked his lips as he let his tongue piercing come into view, eyes locked with Natsu's. "I'll think of you when I use it," he said, a low seductive string of sounds.

 

It was sinful. It was  _ evil  _ for a shirtless Gray with two silver nipple piercings and a tongue piercing that matched to say  _ those  _ words in  _ that _ tone and Natsu felt his legs turn to jelly and he gripped the counter to hold himself up.

 

Gray took advantage of the sudden proximity to lean over, slide his fingers through soft pink locks of hair, and crush their lips together, nipping at Natsu's lower lip and twining their tongues once before pulling away with a satisfied smirk.

 

Natsu was red and turned on and he knew immediately that he was in way over his head. He didn't know if he should thank Erza and Lucy profusely or curse them because Gray looked like he wanted to devour him on the spot and Natsu knew that this one would either break his virgin body or break his racing heart.


End file.
